Read it again. I know it’s hard to take in at first. It says that no matter how
“secure” any of us feel in the little cocoon we have built for ourselves, we live, consciously or unconsciously, with the fear that the day of reckoning will eventually come.
The more helpless we feel, the more severe is the undercurrent of dread that comes with knowing there are situations in life over which we have no control—such as the death of a spouse or the loss of a job. We find ourselves becoming obsessive about possible catastrophes. “What if . . . ?
”Fear permeates our lives. That is the irony of Fear Truth 5: people who refuse to take risks live with a feeling of dread that is far more severe than what they would feel if they took the risks necessary to make them less helpless—only they don’t know it!
I can illustrate with the case of Janice, a middle-aged housewife, who
“planned” her life in such a way as to avoid risk taking as much as possible.
She married a successful businessman who handled both their lives. Janice allowed this situation because it was more comfortable for her never to put herself on the line. But, as the saying goes, “Life is what happens when we’ve made other plans!” At the age of fifty-three, her husband, Dick, had a stroke, which left him partially disabled. One day she was totally taken care of and the next she was totally taking care of.
The transition wasn’t easy. After fighting the rage of “Why did this happen to me?” she started to accept the fact that she was now in charge of both her own and her husband’s survival. Numbed, she went through the motions of learning his business, handling decisions regarding his health, and waking up every morning with the understanding that it was now up to her. After a while, the numbness left, the fog cleared, and she discovered a
profound sense of peace she had never experienced before. She started to realize the heavy price she had paid to be taken care of.
Prior to her husband’s stroke, Janice’s thinking had been permeated with the phrase “what if?” She always worried about the future, never enjoying her todays. She had lived with the underlying dread, “My God, what if something happened to him?” She had often remarked to her friends, “I hope I die before he does. I couldn’t live without him.” And she thought she couldn’t—which is a less-than-satisfactory way to go through life. This all changed as she found strength she never thought she had. She now knows the answer to her question “what if?” The answer is: “I’ll handle it!”
Janice had never realized she was living with terror all her life until that terror disappeared. The new fears were nothing compared to her old fears about survival. Her husband has now recovered enough for them to live a satisfying life together. He, too, has faced one of his biggest fears—that of becoming disabled. He got the answer to his question “what if?” which was also “I’ll handle it.” They both handled it beautifully. In fact, through this experience they learned the real meaning of love.
By now you’ve gotten the picture. We can’t escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us in all our exciting adventures; it is not an anchor holding us transfixed in one spot. Some people have told me they are never afraid, but when I question them, they reveal that we are just differing on semantics. Yes, they feel nervous or anxious some-times—they simply never labeled it fear.
As far as I know, everyone feels fear as he or she moves forward through life. It is absolutely possible that there are some evolved souls in this world who never experience fear, but I have not met them. If I do, I promise I will become their avid student and report back to you with their secrets. You see, I “know” on some deep level there is nothing to fear. It’s the surface level that needs convincing. In the meantime I’ve learned to
“feel the fear . . . and do it anyway!” As I do, whether I feel the fear or not becomes irrelevant. My life will work in either case . . . as will yours.