But she didn’t. “I can’t do it anymore,” she said as she shook her head. She was wearing high-waisted jeans and a Coca-Cola T-shirt. Her hair was long, past her shoulders. She was thirty-seven but still looked like she was in her twenties. She always had a youthfulness to her that I never really had. I was thirty-eight then, and I was starting to look it. When she said that, I got down on my knees, in the hallway of the hotel, and bawled my eyes out. She pulled me inside. “Take me back, Celia,” I begged her. “Take me back, and I'll give the rest of it up. I'll give up everything but Connor. I won’t ever act again. I'll let the world know about us. I’m ready to give you all of me. Please.” Celia listened. But then she very calmly sat down in the chair by the bed and said, “Evelyn, you are not capable of giving it up. And you never will be. And it will be the tragedy of my life that I cannot love you enough ’ ” to make you mine. That you cannot be loved enough to be anyone’s. I stood there for a moment longer, waiting for her to say something else. But she didn’t. She had nothing else to say. And there was nothing I could say that would change her mind. Facing reality, I got hold of myself, held in my tears, kissed her on her temple, and walked away. I got back on the plane to New York, hiding my pain. And it wasn’t until I was back in my apartment that I lost it. Sobbing as if she’d died. That’s how final it felt. I had pushed her too far. And it was over.