“Good.” “I said if” He stood up and came closer to me. “It is a big if If these letters were sent leading up to you deciding to visit Los Angeles today, then I am angry, because you are playing me for a fool.” I really do think that if I told him I had absolutely no intention of seeing Celia in Los Angeles, if I really sold it well, he would have backed off. He might have even said he was sorry and driven me to the airport himself. And that was my gut instinct, to lie, to hide, to cover up what I was doing and who I was. But just as I opened my mouth to feed him a line, something else came out. “I was going to see her. Youre right.” “You were going to cheat on me?” “I was going to leave you,” I said. “I think you know that. I think you've known that for some time. I am going to leave you. If not for her, for me.” “For her?” he said. “T love her. I always have.” Max looked floored, as if he had been pushing me in this game, assuming I’d forfeit. He shook his head in disbelief. “Wow,” he said. “Incredible. I married a dyke.” “Stop saying that,” I said. “Evelyn, if you have sex with women, you are a lesbian. Don’t be a self-hating lesbian. That’s not. . . that’s not becoming.” “I don’t care what you think is becoming. I don’t hate lesbians at all. I’m in love with one. But I loved you, too.” “Oh, please,” he said. “Please don’t try to make me any more of a fool than you already have. I have spent years loving you, only to find it meant nothing to you.” “You didn’t love me for one goddamn day,” I said. “You loved having a movie star on your arm. You loved getting to be the one who slept in my bed. That’s not love. That’s possession.” “T have no idea what you're talking about,” he said.