Alex scans the message twice to make sure he’s read it correctly. i am low-key impressed. He stares at the screen, at his own message, for a few seconds too long, suddenly afraid it was a stupid thing to say. He shakes his head, puts the phone down. Locks it. Changes his mind, picks it up again. Unlocks it. Sees the little typing bubble on Henry’s side of the conversation. Puts the phone down. Looks away. Looks back. One does not foster a lifelong love of Star Wars without knowing an “empire” isn’t a good thing. He would really appreciate it if Henry would stop proving him wrong. HRH Prince Dickhead Ocr 30, 2019, 1:07 PM i hate that tie HRH Prince Dickhead What tie? the one in that instagram you just posted HRH Prince Dickhead What’s wrong with it? It’s only grey. exactly. try patterns sometime, and stop frowning at your phone like i know you’re doing rn HRH Prince Dickhead Patterns are considered a “statement.” Royals aren’t supposed to make statements with what we wear. do it for the ’gram HRH Prince Dickhead You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. thanks! Nov 17, 2019, 11:04 AM HRH Prince Dickhead I’ve just received a 5-kilo parcel of Ellen Claremont campaign buttons with your face on them. Is this your idea of a prank? just trying to brighten up that wardrobe, sunshine HRH Prince Dickhead I hope this gross miscarriage of campaign funds is worth it to you. My security thought it was a bomb. Shaan almost called in the sniffer dogs. oh, definitely worth it. even more worth it now. tell shaan i say hi and i miss that sweet sweet ass XOXOXO HRH Prince Dickhead I will not.