“Jesus tits,” Alex continues as he fumbles to pull his pants up. He snatches a shirt and boxers at random from the floor, shoves them at Henry’s chest, and points him toward the closet. “Get in there.” “Quite,” he observes. “Yes, we can unpack the ironic symbolism later. Go,” Alex says, and Henry does, and when the door swings open, Zahra is standing there with her thermos and a look on her face that says she did not get a master’s degree to babysit a fully grown adult who happens to be related to the president. “Uh, morning,” he says. Zahra’s eyes do a quick sweep of the room—the sheets on the floor, the two pillows that have been slept on, the two phones on the nightstand. “Who is she?” she demands, marching over to the bathroom and yanking open the door like she’s going to find some Hollywood starlet in the bathtub. “You let her bring a phone in here?” “Nobody, Jesus,” Alex says, but his voice cracks in the middle. Zahra arches an eyebrow. “What? I got kinda drunk last night, that’s all. It’s chill.” “Yes, it is so very, very chill that you’re going to be hungover for today,” Zahra says, rounding on him. “T’m fine,” he says. “It’s fine.” As if on cue, there’s a series of bumps from the other side of the closet door, and Henry, halfway into Alex’s boxers, comes literally tumbling out of the closet. It is, Alex thinks half-hysterically, a very solid visual pun. “Er,” Henry says from the floor. He finishes pulling Alex’s boxers up his hips. Blinks. “Hello.” The silence stretches. “J—” Zahra begins. “Do I even want you to explain to me what the fuck is happening here? Literally how is he even here, like, physically or geographically, and why—no, nope. Don’t answer that. Don’t tell me anything.” She takes another pull of coffee. “Oh my God, did J do this? I never thought... when I set it up... oh my God.” Henry has pulled himself off the floor and put on a shirt, and his ears are bright red. “I think, perhaps, if it helps. It was. Er. Rather inevitable. At least for me. So you shouldn’t blame yourself.” Alex looks at him, trying to think of something to add, when Zahra jabs a manicured finger into his shoulder. “Well, I hope it was fun, because if anyone ever finds out about this, we’re all fucked,” Zahra says. She points viciously at Henry. “You too. Can I assume I don’t have to make you sign an NDA?” “T’ve already signed one for him,” Alex offers up, while Henry’s ears turn from red to an alarming shade of purple. Six hours ago, he was sinking drowsily into Henry’s chest, and now he’s standing here half-naked, talking about the paperwork. He fucking hates paperwork. “I think that covers it.” “Oh, wonderful,” Zahra says. “I’m so glad you thought this through. Great. How long has this been happening?” “Since, um. New Year’s,” Alex says. “New Year’s?” Zahra repeats, eyes wide. “This has been going on for seven months? That’s why you—Oh my God, I thought you were getting into international relations or something.” “T mean, technically—” “Tf you finish that sentence, I’m gonna spend tonight in jail.” Alex winces. “Please don’t tell Mom.” “Seriously?” she practically yells. “You're literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state, who is a man, at the biggest political event before the election, in a hotel full of reporters, in a city full of cameras, in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this, like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams, and you're asking me not to tell the president about it?” “Um. Yeah? I haven’t, um, come out to her. Yet.” Zahra blinks, presses her lips together, and makes a noise like she’s being strangled. “Listen,” she says. “We don’t have time to deal with this, and your mother has enough to manage without having to process her son’s fucking quarter-life NATO sexual crisis, so—I won't tell her. But once the convention is over, you have to.” “Okay,” Alex says on an exhale. “Would it make any difference at all if I told you not to see him again?” Alex looks over at Henry, looking rumpled and nauseated and terrified at the corner of the bed. “No.” “God fucking dammit,” she says, rubbing the heel of her hand against her forehead. “Every time I see you, it takes another year off my life. ’m going downstairs, and you better be dressed and there in five minutes so we can try to save this goddamn campaign. And you”—she rounds on Henry—“you need to get back to fucking England now, and if anyone sees you leave, I will personally end you. Ask me if I’m afraid of the crown.” “Duly noted,” he says in a faint voice. Zahra fixes him with a final glare, turns on her heel, and stalks out of the room, slamming the door behind her.