Huge Raging Headache Prince Henry of Who Cares, It is amazing you can sit down to write emails with that gigantic royal stick up your ass. I seem to remember you really enjoying being “accosted.” Everyone there is going to be boring anyway. What are you doing? Alex First Son of Hating Fundraisers RE: PARIS? HENRY 3/4/20 2:32 AM TO A Alex, First Son of Shirking Responsibilities: A royal stick is formally known as a “scepter.” I’ve been sent to a summit in Germany to act as if I know anything about wind power. Primarily, I’ll be getting lectured by old men in lederhosen and posing for photos with windmills. The monarchy has decided we care about sustainable energy, apparently—or at least that we want to appear to. An utter romp. Re: fundraiser guests, I thought you said I was boring? Regards, Harangued Royal Highness RE: PARIS A 3/4/20 2:34 AM TO: HENRY Horrible Revolting Heir, It’s recently come to my attention you’re not quite as boring as I thought. Sometimes. Namely when you’re doing the thing with your tongue. Alex First Son of Questionable Late Night Emails RE: PARIS? FROM: HENRY 3/4/20 2:37 AM TO A Alex, First Son of Inappropriately Timed Emails When I’m in Early Morning Meetings: Are you trying to get fresh with me? Regards, Handsome Royal Heretic RE: PARIS? A 3/4/20 2:41 AM TO HENRY His Royal Horniness, If I were trying to get fresh with you, you would know it. For example: I’ve been thinking about your mouth on me all week, and I was hoping I’d see you in Paris so I could put it to use. I was also thinking you might know how to pick French cheeses. Not my area of expertise. Alex First Son of Cheese Shopping and Blowjobs RE: PARIS? HENRY 3/4/20 2:43 AM TO A Alex, First Son of Making Me Spill My Tea in Said Early Morning Meeting: Hate you. Will try to get out of Germany. x