A slight gure of speech
I cut my chest wide open
They come and watch us bleed
Is it art like I was hoping now?
—THE AVETT BROTHERS,
“SLIGHT FIGURE OF SPEECH”
WHEN WE ENTER THE BUILDING, I IMMEDIATELY SEARCH for Will. Nick and Gavin lead us to a table on the oor, so much more exposed than the booth Will and I sat in. The sac has already performed and they are well into round one. Eddie goes to the judges’ table and pays her money and comes back.
“Layken, come to the bathroom with me,” she says as she pulls me out of my chair.
When we get in the bathroom, she backs me up to the sink and stands in front of me with her hands on my shoulders.
“Snap out of it, girl! We’re here to have fun.” She reaches into her purse and pulls out her makeup bag. She wets her thumbs under the faucet and wipes mascara from underneath my eyes. She meticulously applies my makeup, extremely focused on the task. No one’s ever done my makeup before besides me. She pulls a brush out of her purse and pushes me forward, brushing my hair upside down over my head. I feel like a rag doll. She pulls me back up and does some fancy handiwork as her ngers twist and pull at my hair. She steps back and smiles as though she’s admiring her accomplishment.
“There.”
She turns me to the mirror and my jaw drops to the oor. I can’t believe it. I look . . . pretty. My bangs are pulled into a French braid that hangs loose down my shoulder. The soft amber hue of eye shadow brings out my eyes. My lips are de ned but not too colorful. I look just like my mother.
“Wow. You have a gift, Eddie.”
“I know. Twenty-nine brothers and sisters in nine years, you’re bound to learn a few tricks.”
She pulls me out of the bathroom, and we head back. As we approach our seats, I stop. Eddie stops, too, since she has hold of my hand and is suddenly being jerked back. She follows my gaze to our table and sees Javi . . . and Will.
“Looks like we have company,” she says. She winks at me and pulls me forward, but I pull her hand back. My feet are weighted to the oor beneath me.
“Eddie, it’s not like that. I don’t want you thinking it’s like that.”
She faces me and takes my hands in hers. “I don’t think anything, Layken. But if it really is like that, it would explain the obvious tension between you two,” she says.
“It’s only obvious to you.”
“And that’s how it shall remain,” she says, pulling me forward.
When we reach the table, all eight eyes are focused on me. I want to run.
“Damn, girl, you look good,” Javi says.
Gavin glares at Javi and then smiles back at me. “Eddie got hold of you, did she?” He wraps his arm around Eddie’s waist and pulls her to him, leaving me to fend for myself. Nick pulls a chair out for me and I take it. I glance up at Will, and he gives me a half smile. I know what it means. He thinks I look pretty.
“All right, we’ve got four more performers for round one. Next one goes by the name of Eddie. Where is he?”
Eddie rolls her eyes and stands. “I’m a she!”
“Oh, my bad. There she is. Come on up, Ms. Eddie.”
Eddie gives Gavin a quick peck on the lips and bounces to the stage, her con dence pouring from her smile. Everyone but Will takes a seat. Javi takes the seat to my left, and the only available seat at the table is to my right. Will hesitates before he takes a step and nally sits.
“What are you performing Eddie?” the emcee asks her.
She leans into the microphone and says, “ ‘Pink Balloon.’ ”
As soon as the emcee is off the stage, Eddie loses her smile and goes into her zone.
My name is Olivia King
I am ve years old.
My mother bought me a balloon. I remember the day she walked through the front door with it. The curly
hot-pink ribbon trickling down her arm, wrapped
around her wrist. She was smiling at me as she untied
the ribbon and wrapped it around my hand.
“Here, Livie, I bought this for you.”
She called me Livie.
I was so happy. I’d never had a balloon before. I mean,
I always saw balloons wrapped around other kids’
wrists in the parking lot of Walmart, but I never
dreamed I would have my very own.
My very own pink balloon.
I was so excited! So ecstatic! So thrilled! I couldn’t
believe my mother bought me something! She’d never bought me anything before! I played with it for hours.
It was full of helium, and it danced and swayed and
oated as I pulled it around from room to room with
me, thinking of places to take it. Thinking of places
the balloon had never been before. I took it into the bathroom, the closet, the laundry room, the kitchen, the living room. I wanted my new best friend to see everything I saw! I took it to my mother’s bedroom!
My mother’s
Bedroom?
Where I wasn’t supposed to be?
With my pink
balloon. . .
I covered my ears as she screamed at me, wiping the
evidence off of her nose. She slapped me across the
face and reminded me of how bad I was! How much I
misbehaved! How I never listened! She shoved me into
the hallway and slammed the door, locking my pink balloon inside with her. I wanted him back! He was my best friend! Not hers! The pink ribbon was still
tied around my wrist so I pulled and pulled, trying to
get my new best friend away from her.
And
it
popped.
My name is Eddie.
I’m seventeen years old.
My birthday is next week. I’ll be the big One-Eight. My
foster dad is buying me these boots I’ve been wanting.
I’m sure my friends will take me out to eat. My
boyfriend will buy me a gift, maybe even take me to
a movie. I’ll even get a nice little card from my foster-care
worker, wishing me a happy eighteenth birthday,
informing me I’ve aged out of the system.
I’ll have a good time. I know I will.
But there’s one thing I know
for sure.
I better not get any
shitty-ass pink balloons!
When the crowd cheers for her, Eddie eats it up. She’s bouncing up and down on the stage and clapping along with the crowd, forgetting all about the somber poem she just performed. She’s a natural. We give her a standing ovation when she comes back to the table.
“That felt so awesome,” she squeals. Gavin throws his arms around her and picks her up off the ground and kisses her cheek.
“That’s my girl,” he says as they sit back down in their seats.
“That was great, Eddie—guess you’re exempt,” Will says.
“That was so easy! Layken, you really need to do one next week. You’ve never had one of Mr. Cooper’s nals before. They aren’t fun, believe me.”
“I’ll think about it,” I say. She did make it look easy.
Will laughs and leans forward. “Eddie, you haven’t had one of my
nals either. I’ve only been teaching two months.”
“Well, I’m sure they suck,” she laughs.
They call another performer to the stage and the table grows quiet. Javi’s leg keeps brushing against mine. Something about him gives me the creeps. Maybe it’s the obvious creep factor. Throughout the performance, I keep drawing myself in more and more until I have nowhere else to go, but he somehow keeps getting closer. Just when I’m on the verge of punching him, Will moves in and whispers in my ear.
“Trade me seats.”
I hop up, and he slides over as I take his seat. I silently thank him with a look. Javi straightens back up and glares at Will. It’s obvious there is no love lost between the two of them.
By the start of the second round, everyone at our table is dispersing among the crowd. I spot Nick at the bar chatting up a girl. Javi eventually sulks off, leaving just Will and me at the table with Gavin and Eddie.
“Mr. Cooper, did you see—”
“Gavin,” Will interrupts. “You don’t have to call me Mr. Cooper here. We went to high school together.”
A mischievous grin crosses Gavin’s face. He nudges Eddie, and they both smile at Will. “Can we call you—”
“No! You can’t!” Will interrupts again. He’s blushing.
“I’m missing something here,” I say, looking from Will to Gavin.
Gavin leans forward in his chair and puts his elbows on his knees. “You see, Layken, about three years ago—”
“Gavin, I’ll fail you. I’ll fail your little girlfriend, too,” Will says.
Everyone’s laughing now, but I’m still lost.
“Three years ago, Duckie here decided to start a prank war with the freshmen.”
“Duckie?” I say. I look at Will and his face is buried in his hands.
“It became apparent that Will—I mean Duckie—was the one behind all the pranks. We suffered at the hands of this man.” Gavin laughs as he gestures toward Will.
“So, we decided we’d had enough. We came up with a little plan of our own, now known as Revenge on Duckie.”
“Dammit, Gavin. I knew it was you! I knew it,” Will says.
Gavin laughs. “Will was known for his daily naps in his car. Particularly during Mr. Hanson’s History class. So, we followed him to the parking lot one day and waited until he was off in la-la land. We got about twenty- ve rolls of duct tape and wrapped him inside the car. There had to be six layers of duct tape around his car already before he
nally woke up. We could hear him screaming and kicking at the door
all the way back to the school.”
“Oh my god. How long were you in there?” I ask Will. I don’t even hesitate when I speak to him. I like that we’re interacting again, even if it is just as friends. This is good.
He cocks an eyebrow at me when he responds. “Now that’s the kicker. Mr. Hanson’s History class was second period. I wasn’t cut out of the car until my dad called the school trying to nd me. I don’t remember what time it was, but it was dark.”
“You were in there almost twelve hours?”
He nods.
“How’d you use the bathroom?” Eddie asks.
“I’ll never tell,” he laughs.
We can do this. I watch Will as he interacts with Eddie and Gavin; they’re all laughing. I didn’t think it would be possible before—a friendship between us. But here, right now, I do.
Nick walks back up to the table with a sour look on his face. “I don’t feel so hot. Can we go?”
“How much did you eat, Nick?” Gavin says, standing.
Eddie looks at me and tilts her head to the front door, insinuating it’s time to go. “See you tomorrow, Mr. Cooper,” she says.
“Are you sure about that, Eddie?” Will asks her. “You and your friend here aren’t taking another courtyard nap tomorrow?”
Eddie looks back at me and clasps her hand to her mouth, exaggerating a gasp. Will and I stand up as they all le out.
“Just leave Kel at my house tonight,” he says after everyone is out of earshot. “I’ll get him to school tomorrow. They’re probably asleep by now anyway.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, it’s ne.”
“Okay, thanks.”
We both stand there, not certain how to part. He steps out of my way. “See ya tomorrow,” he says. I smile and shuf e my way past him, then catch up to Eddie.
* * *
“PLEASE, MOM? PLEASE?” Kel says.
“Kel, y’all spent the night with each other last night. I’m sure his brother wants some time with him.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Caulder says.
“See? We’ll stay in our room. I swear,” Kel says.
“Fine. But Caulder, I’ll need you to be at your house tomorrow night. I’m taking Lake and Kel to dinner.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll go tell my brother and get my clothes.”
Kel and Caulder run out the front door. I squirm in my seat on the couch as I unzip my boots. This dinner she’s referring to must be it; the big introduction. I decide to press her a little further.
“Where are we going to dinner?” I ask.
She comes to the couch and sits, grabbing the remote to ip on the TV.
“Wherever. Maybe we’ll just eat here. I don’t know. I just want some alone time, just the three of us.”
I pull my boots off and snatch them up. “The three of us,” I mumble as I walk to my room. I think about that as I throw my boots in my closet and lie on the bed. It used to be “the four of us.” Then it became “the three of us.” Now, in less than seven months, she’s making it “the four of us” again.
Whoever he is, he will never be included in a count with Kel and me. She doesn’t know I know about him. She doesn’t even know I’ve already labeled him and her as “the two of them,” and Kel and me as “the two of us.” Divide and conquer. That’s my new family motto.
We’ve been living in Ypsilanti for a month now, and I’ve spent every single Friday night in my room. I grab my phone and text Eddie, hoping she and Gavin won’t mind a third wheel tonight on their movie date. She texts me back in a matter of seconds, giving me thirty minutes to get ready. It isn’t enough time to thoroughly enjoy a shower, so I go to the bathroom and touch up my makeup. The mail is in a pile on the bathroom counter next to the sink, so I pick it up and look at it. All three envelopes have a big red post of ce stamp across them. Forward to New Address is stamped over our old Texas address.
Eight more months. Eight more months and I’m moving back home. I contemplate hanging a calendar on my wall so I can start marking down the days. I toss the envelopes back on the counter, when the contents of one of them fall to the oor. When I pick it up, I notice the numbers printed in the top right-hand corner.
$178,343.00.
It’s a bank statement. It’s an account balance. I snatch up the rest of the mail and run to my room and shut the door.
I look at the dates on the bank statement and then sort through the other envelopes. One of them is from a mortgage company so I tear it open. It’s an insurance invoice. An invoice for our house back in Texas that I was told we sold. Oh my god, I want to kill her. We aren’t broke! We didn’t even sell our house! She tore my brother and me from the only home we’ve ever known for some guy? I hate her. I have to get out of this house before I explode. I grab my phone and throw the envelopes in my purse.
“I’m going out,” I say when I walk through the living room toward the front door.
“With who?” she asks.
“Eddie. Going to a movie.” I keep my replies short and sweet so she won’t hear the fury behind my voice. My whole body is shaking I’m so angry. I just want to get out of the house and process things before I confront her.
She walks over to me and grabs my cell phone out of my hand and starts pressing buttons.
“What the hell are you doing?” I yell as I grab it back out of her grasp.
“I know what you’re up to, Lake! Don’t pretend with me.”
“What am I up to? I’d really like to know!”
“Last night you and Will were both gone. He conveniently had a babysitter. Tonight, his brother says he’s spending the night, and half an hour later you’re going out? You aren’t going anywhere!”
I throw my phone in my purse and wrap my purse across my shoulder as I head to the front door.
“As a matter of fact, I am going out. With Eddie. You can watch me leave with Eddie. You can watch me return with Eddie.” I walk out the front door and she follows me. Luckily, Eddie is pulling up in the driveway.
“Lake? Get back here! We need to talk,” she yells from the doorway.
I open the door to Eddie’s car and I turn to face her. “You’re right, Mom, but I think you’re the one that needs to do the talking. I know why we’re having dinner tomorrow! I know why we moved to Michigan! I know about everything! So don’t you dare talk to me about hiding stuff!”
I don’t wait for her to respond as I get in the backseat and slam the door.
“Get me out of here. Hurry,” I say to Eddie.
I start crying as we drive away. I never want to go back.
* * *
“HERE, DRINK THIS.” Eddie shoves another soda across the table as she and Gavin watch me drink—and cry. We stopped at Getty’s because Eddie said their pizza was the only thing that could help me right now. I couldn’t eat.
“I’m sorry I ruined your date,” I say to both of them.
“You didn’t ruin it. Did she, babe?” Eddie says as she turns to Gavin.
“Not at all. It’s a nice change of routine,” he says, shoving his pizza into a takeout box.
My phone is vibrating again. It’s the sixth time my mother has called, so I hold down the power button and throw it back into my purse.
“Can we still make it to the movie?” I ask.
Gavin looks at his watch and nods. “Sure, if you really feel like going.”
“I do. I need to stop thinking about this for a little while.”
We pay our bill and head to the theater. It’s not Johnny Depp, but any actor will do right now.