-Kylie-
The clock ticked slowly, I began to count down the seconds before I could walk o ut of the room. The students all sat at the edge of their seats with their books neatly stacked, ready to lift off. The bell clanged and everyone walked out of the room within seconds.
Tristan stood up and went to Mrs. Cox to talk. I quickly stacked my books in my bag and went to Julianne's table.
"Let's go, Jules," I said as I failed to add an eager tone but managed to pull u p a thin smile.
Julianne raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "Okay. Wait a sec." She fixed her not epads and pushed them into her bag.
"So how was it, Tristan?" I heard Ronnie asking him. Although I wasn't facing th em, I could see her giving him a wide smile.
"Got it all covered," Tristan said.
"Great! Wish you luck, then."
"They're sure getting along just fine now, huh..." Julianne observed them. "I ju st noticed ever since yesterday."
"Yeah," I muttered. "Maybe just like always before."
When Julianne was about to ask me, I turned away and met Tristan's bright eyes. I slightly bent my head down and passed beside him. Julianne followed behind me in a hurry.
"Kylie, Julianne!" his voice, together with the thumps of his shoes, echoed thro ugh the hall. He managed to catch up with us, and with a huff he said, "What's t he rush, guys? Can't wait for lunch?" He laughed.
Not a hint of amusement was visible on my face. Julianne shifted her eyes back a nd forth between us, as if it were a tennis match, before hesitantly speaking, " I have to go to the restroom real quick. You guys go ahead," she spoke as she sl owly backed away soon she disappeared in the crowd, leaving us standing awkwardl y.
It felt uncomfortable, as the only sound was silence and growing uneasiness in t he air. Silently the two of us made our way through the pack of students towards the cafeteria.
"Oh, hey, guess what, Ky? I'm almost done with my work now, so I think I can dri ve you home today," Tristan said after a while, "but... say, want to come with m e to the city before that? I've got something to-"
I shook my head. "I have to go straight home after school, I have homework to fi nish."
"You can do it some other time. Come on, Ky, come with me?"
"No, thanks," I deadpanned, still without looking at him. "Just invite one of yo ur friends to come with you. Or with-" I shrugged "-Ronnie, I guess?"
Before I went ahead of him, I couldn't help giving him one look. His expression changed from excitement to bafflement.
What am I doing? But it was all so awfully obvious! Tristan had a right to choos e a girl like Ronnie because... he wasn't... we're not even....
I didn't know what we were anymore.
Time become treasured when I was with him, and I had been so sure everything was falling into their right places... but I had no right to be that sure. It didn' t always go in that kind of way. Everything would always have its twists and tur ns.
If only I had known this would happen. If only I had thought things over and ove r again. I got my hopes up just because we'd had a great few times with another.
In spite of that, I admit I couldn't come to hate him. It wasn't his fault I was so foolish when it came to this. I could not-maybe even never-face him boldly l ike before. Maybe it would be better if I would avoid him... if I could. A few g ood times, and one amazing week, and now that was just it.
That noon I didn't proceed to the cafeteria but sat instead, under the shade of a tree outside the school building and chewed at an apple I had brought from hom e. From a distance, I saw Erik with his friends. When he spotted me, he bid good bye at them and walked over.
He grinned. "Hey. What are you doing alone here?"
"I'm just getting some fresh air," I said evasively.
"Do you mind if I steal a patch of grass?"
I wanted to be alone with my thoughts right now, actually. However, I found myse lf gesturing on the space beside me, saying, "No. Feel free."
He sat and rested his head on the tree, looking up on the blue sky. "Nice place isn't it; really cozy in here."
"Yeah, cozy." I smiled and stared at the sky, too, "the wind makes me want to do ze off."
"You can lay your head on my shoulder and sleep, if you really want to," he said and as I looked back at him. "I think there's still an hour left before class. Don't worry, I won't run off or anything. Come on."
"An hour wouldn't cut it. I might oversleep for twelve hours, and you wouldn't b e able to wake me up easily during that time. Thanks, anyway." Besides, I didn't want to sleep on his side because that would be awkward. There were several peo ple around who might see.
"You're just like the person I knew, Kylie."
For a few moments, he casually talked and laughed about stuff. I knew that he kn ew what I was thinking, and I silently thanked him for making an effort to make me feel better. Still I couldn't keep the thoughts away from my mind, because th e more I tried to shove them away, the more they came.
I couldn't get that scene off my head. It kept on swirling around; making me con fused and unsettled even more. I didn't understand why Tristan had done that wit h Ronnie in secrecy.
Is he... playing with me?
I shut my eyes tight. I didn't want to imagine that.
I'd been trying to figure it out myself, but I couldn't come up with the surest answer. I wanted to know why, yet at the same time, I didn't want to hear the re ason because it might turn out the something I never ever wanted to hear.
Darn it.
I put my chin on my crossed arms and stared blankly at the field.
"Kylie?"
I raised my head and span to face Erik.
He was staring straight to me, so close I could clearly see the freckles spread across his nose bridge and the dark specks on his huge blue eyes. I gazed back a t him, stuck on the spot. The way he looked at me began to make me have flashbac ks of what had happened to these previous days with Tristan.
"Yes?" I whispered.
He didn't move. He just stayed in that position. "You suddenly fell silent. I th ought you dozed off with your eyes open."
Shaking my head, I squeezed my eyes to snap me into reality. "Ah, darn. I was sp aced out. Sorry. So... you were saying?" I said.
"What's wrong?" he asked after a moment.
I shook my head. "N-nothing. Everything is okay."
"Yeah, that's what you seem to say all this time."
I swallowed, getting insecure because of the proximity. Erik took a short move f orward, and I quickly pulled up myself away; heart beating up so fast.
"Look at the time! I... I think we should go back inside," I stammered, tapping the dusts off my pants. "The bell's gonna ring for a few minutes." I grabbed my bag from the ground and slung it on my shoulder.
"You know what, Kylie?" he said, not looking at me. He grabbed a pebble from the grass and lazily threw it away. "It would be a waste of time over thinking abou t that guy." He turned to me with a smile and a heavy gaze. "Listen, if he doesn 't treat you right, I will."
Stunned, I stood there, blinking.
"Erik..." I started to say, but I couldn't seem to find the right words to say. So after a moment, I said instead, "Thanks."
Then I left.
***
The lessons of Mr. Cross that I should have been devoting on seemed to be wasted now. I stared blankly at the board while he wrote equations with a squeaking ch alk. Before I knew it, the bell finally brought the period to a close. I quickly scribbled the next day's assignment before he could erase them.
Afterwards, I grabbed my bag and started to walk out, but took a quick pause whe n Mr. Cross said, "Your grades are starting to pull up, Miss Harris. Good job, a nd always keep it up."
A little joy fluttered in my chest. "Yes, Sir. Thank you." I nodded with a smile before leaving.
I looked at both different directions of the hallway, checking if Tristan was ar ound. I wished I could tell him the good news about my grades, but I knew I coul dn't bear to face him. When it was clear, I went to the right where the exit was .
I came across with Grey outside. While passing by, he waved his hand. "Hey, Kyli e. Going home now?" he called. "If you're looking for your boyfriend, he's right over-"
"He's not my boyfriend!" I blurted out, and honestly, they were not at all the w ords I had meant to speak.
Moving fast, I didn't dare to look back since I might see Tristan right there. I had a feeling he was just at a distance, watching.
The moment I reached my house after all that walking and running, I threw my bag on the desk and rolled on the bed in exhaustion. It isn't really easy to avoid someone... A few moments later, my cellphone buzzed. Pulling it out from my pock et, I lifted it up, and my throat went dry when I saw the messenger's name.
Him: Hey.
I put down my cellphone and covered my eyes with my arm, trying to get some rest . My cellphone buzzed again after several minutes.
Him: Are you in your place already? Why didn't you wait for me?
And then...
Him: Kylie, is there something wrong? You're acting kinda weird today.
Him: Come on, Kyles, reply...
Him: Uh... is anyone there?
Him: I'm a huge bother right now, am I not? Ha-ha...
Him: Kylie?
I rolled to the other side of the bed, scrolling down the phone's screen, my che st tightening. A yawn got out from my mouth, and after some time, I fell asleep with my phone still buzzing because of his messages.
-Tristan-
It's somewhat strange, wasn't it?
How all of a sudden, somebody just woke up and decided never to talk to you agai n. The worst part was that, every time you wanted to talk to that person, the co nversation just quickly sapped down to a silence and then it would leave you han ging.
Thousands of thoughts filled my head as I observed Kylie these days, and I could n't help but felt like she slowly drifting away. She was changing routes wheneve r I was there, as if she was trying to keep herself from running into me. I was ready for this Friday to come that I couldn't stop myself from being too eager, but seeing things now, it seemed like the plan was going to be blown away.
The thought of that and of everything else that would possibly happen after both ered me to no end.
I kept on tapping my fingers on the table as I waited for Kylie to arrive. Julia nne was munching on her sandwich in silence, but I knew she'd been watching me. Lacey and Clark, who were on the other side of the table, were talking quietly w ith each other.
I stopped tapping and sighed. "Where the heck is she?"
Julianne shrugged. "I don't know. She just went out in a rush after class. This is like the third time she's not here during lunch."
"Yeah." I flipped my phone up. I'd been waiting to see her reply even just a wor d, but she never did.
"T, are you and her in a fight or something?" Lacey asked. "I notice she's sort of acting differently. I mean, she doesn't talk too much right now and it's so n ot her..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes lifted up.
We all turned around and saw Kylie. All of my skepticisms faded on the second I saw her smiling at last. Readily, she sat to the other side of the seat, squeezi ng Julianne between us, and began to chatter about whatever was on her mind, lik e the usual. I thought everything was back in place now.
But it was only just a thought.
The time flew by, and yet she acted like I wasn't there, no matter how many shot s I took to make her notice me. Yeah, I was lucky enough to keep a conversation with her longer than a few sentences. And the conversation wasn't even carefree and entertaining anymore. My words were short and hers sometimes held resentment to them.
What's going on?
The bell rang through the noisy crowd and the four of us began to grab our thing s. Clark, Lacey, and Julianne headed on to the same direction upstairs since the ir next class was on the same floor. The only ones left were Kylie and me, and w e walked alongside each other without talking. I noticed the distance between us became wide again.
I stole a glance at her. She was staring straight ahead.
Grey came into view and jogged towards me. But he took a quick pause and a step back when he passed her. "Oh hey, Ky. About what happened the day before yesterd ay...?"
"What?"
"Uh... I didn't really mean to say that," he said, raising his hands on his ches t like a shield. "It was a joke. But see, I just thought you-"
"Oh, that. Just drop it. It doesn't matter," she said, shrugging, and entered th e classroom.
Staggered, Grey turned back to me. "Oh, my God, Tristan, I thought she was going to rip my legs off," he said with a shudder. "What's up with her being so crabb y?"
"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "She's been quiet these days."
"Aha, that's probably her PMS, Pissed at Men Syndrome." Grey guffawed, slapping my shoulder. "Be afraid, T. She'll breathe fire with multiple explosions in the background."
I elbowed him. "Jeez, that's not an effective excuse you pissed her off."
"Oh, I'm sorry I never thought she wasn't going to take it as a joke," he mocked and shook his head. "She could've perhaps appeared shy about it. But instead sh e all went like the Incredible Hulk and fled away."
I didn't speak up as we moved along towards our room. Grey could have a point. I had seen the whole scenario and thought-I really thought she would be embarrass ed about what he had said to her. But she had only yelled: "He's not my boyfrien d!"
Ouch.
It would have been easier to bear if she laughed it off and made faces, because that was how she always reacted. I had never expected she would scream and storm off like that over a little thing; not at any time nowadays, because come on, s he knew that I loved her and we're already heading-
Wait.
She knew that I loved her... but the question was that: did she really believe i t?
You see, every time I told her those three words, she would always just say "idi ot" and nothing else.
Maybe I was still frightening her.
Maybe she still couldn't hold the fact that I was being real.
Catching the sight of my serious look, Grey tapped my back reassuringly. "Don't let it take over you, dude. Maybe she's just in her moody phase right now. You k now women would always be ticked off easily when their hormones go fucking crazy ." He snickered. "It'll pass real soon, T."
Yeah, it could be that I was just going over the top now. I hope he was right ab out what he'd said.
I nodded, my mouth pulling up a lazy smile.
"Oh, by the way," Grey said, "were you able to watch the game last night? Boy, i t was intense, wasn't it? No one scored until the last minute and..."
We started to discuss the football game, and it managed to pull my thoughts from the real concern at the present. Sometimes, I wished I could live in Grey's hea d. I swear it must be very peaceful there.
***
Friday-the day I'd been waiting for finally came.
Unfortunately, all of my plans fell through at the last moment.
"What do you mean you can't?" Ryo exclaimed.
I flew my hands up in frustration. "I blew it off. It's over. I can't do it beca use I know it's going to be pointless."
"Pointless? Then why did you make this all in up in the first place? You should' ve finished what you've started," Justin stated matter-of-factly as he twirled t he basketball on his finger.
"It's just..." I sighed, pressing my nose bridge. "Ah. It's kind of hard to expl ain, man. For all I know, my enthusiasm was winding down now."
"That sucked ass, T," Ryo remarked.
"Yeah, tell me about it."
Putting the ball down, Justin reclined in his seat. He crossed his hands on the back of his head and said, "So... anything else you have in mind, like a plan B or something?"
"Actually I was so confident with this that I even forgot to have a backup plan, " I said with a dull laughter. "I don't know. I guess I should just see how ever ything turns out. Kylie's being so complicated right now, and I don't know what to do with her."
Justin looked at me. "Say, Tristan... I'll give you ten bucks to let me kiss you r girl," he said, grinning cockily.
My eyes suddenly flared, and I pushed him away. "What the hell, dude? Do you ser iously think I would let you do that?" I bellowed. Jeez, why did he come up with that kind of deal? Where did he get that idea? "Even if you'll give me your for tune, I wouldn't let you."
Justin hugged his stomach as he fell into fits of laughter. "I-I was just pullin g your leg, T, to see how you'd react! Ha! That... that was downright wicked," h e said breathlessly.
Ryo, who had his mouth hanging for too long, said in disbelief, "Boy, I thought you were serious about that!"
I grimaced. "Damn you, Justin Case."
"Loosen up, man." He took a deep breath to stop himself from laughing, before ad ding, "You really do care about her. Then if that's it and you don't know what e lse to do, why won't you chase her now?"
The whole point of his joke struck me eventually. I sighed, nodding. "Yeah... ye ah maybe I should," I said. Chase her, huh. Just like what I'd been doing since that first night we danced. Are we going down? It seems like I'm back to square one. "But before that, I have to find the answer to a question I'm stuck with."
Later that day, however, when I suddenly had the urge to "chase" her, as what Ju stin had said, I'd seen something that rose up my anger. I was in the school bui lding, and through the window, I saw her and Erik down below. My fists clenched on my sides so hard until I felt the pain. But this pain was nothing compared to how I felt looking at them together.
So that's why...
Just when I thought it was all over days and weeks ago, the complication was sta rting to come back once again, and somehow I felt like it was getting worse.
Seeing Kylie with someone else, who was beginning to take my place, destroyed me . How was it possible for her to play around and be emotionless towards me so ea sily?