Another helpful way to define the internal struggle associated with urges is to think of it as a waterfall, and fighting an urge is like trying to block a waterfall. The waterfall is eventually going to break through with even more force than it would have originally because of the pressure that has been built up from being held back. Instead of trying to block the waterfall, step back and watch it. If you can start seeing urges and temptations with curiosity rather than fear, changing your behavior will become a lot easier. Spend time studying your own habits and pay attention to your urges. Once you master urge surfing, you can overcome any addiction. ARE YOU FEEDING YOUR URGES? People will also do things like try to think themselves out of an urge or distract themselves so they are focusing on something else. This is similar to trying to fight your urges—they feed them, which makes them stronger. This then causes you to believe that the only way to get rid of your urges is to give in to them. When you get to this stage, you give up and accept that you will never be able to change your bad habits. Distraction appears quite logical. After all, wouldn’t it be better to limit the number of opportunities you have to engage in your bad habit instead of indulging in it? It sounds like a good idea in theory, but it doesn’t work in practice. Several studies have found that suppressing thoughts, sensations, and feelings makes them stronger. To further prove this point, the next time someone mentions something, try not to think about it. For example, someone might say, “Make sure you don’t think about an elephant,” now anytime the word “elephant” is mentioned, you are going to think about one and the more you try to avoid the thought, the more it will take over your mind. The same is true when you attempt to avoid urges. The aim of urge surfing is to leave you feeling calm and relaxed after walking away from a temptation—it’s impossible to trick the mind into overcoming your urges. The only way out is to surf through the urge, which is a part of the discipline process. After a while, you will become comfortable with the discomfort of experiencing the urge and not submitting to it. Any time you feel an urge to do something you know is not going to benefit you, follow these steps: e Pay attention to where the urge is coming from in your body. In the same way music gives you the urge to nod your head or tap your feet, the majority of urges are felt somewhere in the body.